It has been

It has been 732 days or 2 years and 2 days since God took our original Rebekah home. Friday looking at her grave, I asked J.R. "Is it real to you?" and he not surprisingly said "No." It is not real for me either, I cannot imagine J.R.'s or his parents or Marie's grief after having Rebekah in their lives for so long compared to my having her for 3 short years.
I miss her almost daily. I miss her because I know I cannot talk to her. I long to be able to tell her the good, the bad, and the ugly and know she loves me all the same. In each interesting theological book I read, I want to pick up the phone and debate the fine points with her and finally agree to disagree and still be friends. I miss her at holidays. I missed her everyday of my pregnancy and every moment of labor. I want her to be here with us enjoying our little Rebekah. I want our Rebekah Grace to know her and it hurts that R.G. will only know her through stories. In every email to my best friends, I want to address it to her too. I long for her to still be here for J.R., for him to have his sister and friend back. I long for her to be here with me so that I might catch her loveliness and kindness and be a better person for her constant example. I miss her for what she did for me, for the hope she instilled in every situation. I know I'm not alone in missing her goodness.
All of my Rebekah thoughts lead me to the feet of Jesus, lead me back to the place where I see my own depravity and cannot forget that I am His and am in desperate need of Him. I need Him to forgive my faults. I need Him to give me strength when I am weak. I need Him to help me be more like Him and less like me. And therein lies Rebekah's legacy, always leading others to the foot of the cross.

Busy days

Our friend, Paula, came to visit Tuesday after our doctor appointment

and before our date with El Rancho.

Wednesday night, we went with the Giles and Mauls to Buffalo Wild Wings.

I wore my clown suit.

Thursday started off with a relaxing bath.

Kristin and unborn Kylie Nicole came to play for a long time.
And then Stephanie came over to meet me for the very first time.
And finally, BatGirl, I mean Kelly came over too.

And now I am worn out!

Shots! Ouch!

That little piece of paper says Rebekah is a super baby weighing in at 12 lbs. 7 ounces and measuring a whopping 23 inches long. She's grown soooooooooooooooooooo fast.
She was screaming before the nurse even came in the room. I'm not real sure she even felt the needle pricks. We came home and now she is taking her usual afternoon nap at her Daddy's side.

The Gospel

Rizzotti Reflections: The gospel according to an almost-two-year-old

I found this little sweet treasure while I was being nosy going from blog to blog looking at cute pictures. Anyway this little girl Rebecca seems to be adorable and her parents seem to be wonderful. I hope J.R. and I will teach our Rebekah about the gospel in our own unique way and that she will grasp some basics like this Rebecca.

Mother's Little Helpers

Some books

********** BABYWISE *********

I read this book while I was still in grad school. I fell in love with its principles then. I think it has helped Rebekah keep the title "good baby".

********* HAPPIEST BABY *********

I'd heard of this book before. Kerri told me about this video. I found the book on half.com . Read it and quickly began using the "cuddle cure". We have a baby who doesn't cry herself to sleep anymore. Amazing!

BABY OM

I miss Pensacola yoga classes. I don't remember where I first read about this book. It has great illustrations and different sections for different ages and deliveries. Rebekah seems to enjoy what we've done so far, which is not as much as I'd hoped.

300 BABIES

I heard of this book during grad school too, but didn't order it until Rebekah was a couple weeks old. I haven't used anything specific from it, but it was an eye opener.

Some products

AVEENO

I like Aveeno stuff. It doesn't give my baby bumps. She likes the soak too.

WUBBANUB

Oh, the wubbanub is wonderful. I can trap it in RG's swaddle and she doesn't loose her soothie!

SLEEP SHEEP

We're borrowing Ty's sleep sheep. It runs for 45 minutes which is enough time for Little Miss to fall asleep. She needs the white noise to stay asleep, or so I've convinced myself.

SNUGLI

The snugli allows me to go to WalMart and fill up my cart with groceries instead of somebody's carseat. She has a good nap each time I put her in it. It also lets me walk baby and Gravy at the same time.

MIRACLE BLANKET

We recieved two miracle blankets as presents. We use one almost every night. It is the BEST swaddler we have. Rebekah would have to take lessons from Houdini to get out of it. She typically sleeps 8 hours wrapped in it.

Some blogs

FUSSYPANTS

REDNECK MOMMY

THE QUEEN

GREEN FINDS

SAFE MAMA

May 12-19th

Watching Mommy being addicted to the internet is always fun.
This is our silly Daddy playing on Rebekah's future toy.
Getting ready for a 2.5 mile walk around the lake in the sun Sunday morning.
Friends make eye contact for the first time.

Rebekah Grace and Tyson Howard
Sitting on our unborn friend, Kylie Nicole Gilmer.

John 13:1-17

May 2 to the 11th

We went to Jackson for the night. Joy and Louis came over to Grandmother's to have dinner with us. Guess who slept right through their visit?

Rebekah really likes bath time, rather its in the sink or the real tub. We think she has ecxema . We have stopped using Johnson & Johnson products and started using Aveeno. Her skin has cleared up.
We stopped in Jackson to spend the night on our way to Starkville. We met Momma and Hayley for dinner at Sakura Bana. Rebekah loves her Mamie. Check out this big smile!
Mommy is lazy and didn't want to pack up the Pack 'n' Play so...Little Miss slept in a drawer (on the bed) at Grandmother's. She seemed to like it as much as her crib. She slept straight through the night as usual.
We went to Starkville for my dear friend, Laura's wedding. I was an honorary bridesmaid. I enjoyed seeing Laura and her family, and getting to know Laura's other friends. This was Rebekah's first trip (other than to Jackson to see family).
My great friend !!!! Mary Helen went with us to Starkville to help with Rebekah. Mary Helen is a God.send. Rebekah liked her and was pretty good when MH babysat. I think MH got Rebekah smiling more than any of the grandmothers have.We drove home from Starkville on Mother's Day. These two mothers had a good time playing and talking to Rebekah, AND the "Beks" enjoyed it too!

We were ready to be home with J.R. We came home to learn that Cotton and Rice died. I was really upset. We went to have supper at El Rancho where Rebekah really smiled at her Daddy over and over and over. I miss my kitties!!! We got them in May 2005. They were about three or four weeks old. I had to bottle feed them, so teeny tiny. They went through several moves with us. I will keep missing them. I think I new kitten will ease the pain...maybe J.R. will give in before Rebekah is six, maybe.